Max. Had to remake again. I smoke bud and RAGE

 

I vary between wanting to put you back together and wanting you to just fall apart. You needed this breaking point to finally see he was not all you had in your heart. Disloyal, and betrayed is exactly how I expected you to feel. I’m so fucking sorry that everything you thought of him was nothing, and I know how sick you must feel because I fucking watched you spill your guts out to me on how the first time you saw him, and how he told you he loved you the first time you had fuckin thought he would change everything for you. I’m so fucking pissed off that someone let you down like that. I’m trying to help, but all I fucking hear is your voice and it finally sounds like your breaking and bending and I want to see you through this. I want you to realize he will not hear your cries, and he fuckin KNOWS how fucking much you loved him but. you CAN NOT change people. What you can do is stop screaming and let me just fucking tell you how much you didn’t deserve this. Your hopes were let down. But I’m fucking here. Don’t you get that?

You think ‘Okay, I get it, I’m prepared for the worst’, but you hold out that small hope, see, and that’s what fucks you up. That’s what kills you.

Stephen King. “Joyland”. (via fuckyeah-unclesteve)